I’ve struggled with anxiety most of my life, but in the last few years it has really become an issue. I lost a 3-year old daughter, my married fell apart, my oldest son was diagnosed with Leukemia and 2020 took a toll on my financial stability. These extradorinaiy events took the small flame of anxiety in my life and added fuel to fire, till it became an uncontrollable blaze. I started having anxiety attacks, couldn’t think straight and was overwhelmed at the smallest details of everyday life. During the last few years, I’ve tried everything I could think of to help me cope with the high level of anxiety I’ve been facing. I take herbs, go to the gym, practice journaling and tried breathing techniques.
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We sell hand picked strains from an assortment of domestic partners. Heat and/or Gamma treatment for extremely clean (microbiological) contamination free products. The main difference between us and our competitors is we shop by alkaloid profiles, they shop by price. For certain strains we pay double the going rate of “bulk wholesale” Kratom because we like its profile.
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Underneath all the rhetoric of the last few years, is this fundamental message that “I’m right. You’re wrong.” And it doesn’t stop in the political arena. You can see this on so many issues, from religious perspectives, stances on abortion and silly things such as wether or not we should wear masks in public.
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Fatherhood is circular. One moment you’re the child with a dad and the next you're the father, leading a child. Not soon after that you’re the granddad, staring at your lineage, your inheritance. It happens too quickly, almost like a few bleeps on the radar of life. I have very early memories with my dad, riding on his back, going fishing and taking the family camping. These are fond memories, mixed with excruciating pain. Pain of self-hatred, then pain of depression, confusion and feeling completely lost within myself.
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Spiritual abuse may be more rampant than you think. It’s a type of abuse that happens subtly and under the image of God, making it very difficult to catch at first glance. Aside from that, usually the people being spiritual manipulated, are under the influence of a dynamic leader that has built a toxic environment (groupthink), so much that if someone begins to catch on to the abuse, they will attack themselves - thinking they are the one who is crazy. It’s much more difficult to identify than the other abuses, such as sexual, physical or verbal abuse, because it’s not so overt in orientation or manifestation.
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No regrets. It’s a popular phrase.
People get it tattooed on their body and hang it on their walls, but the longer I’ve lived, the more I hold that phrase with suspicion. Is it humanly possible to live without a single regret? Can we really make choices that are harmful, and at times, downright bad decisions, and not regret them? That’s what’s been rolling around in my mind for a few weeks. Personally, I have regrets and some of them are a very big deal. Regrets that have altered the trajectory of my life. As much as I would like to proclaim that I have no regrets, it’s simply not been my experience.
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I’ve suffered my entire life from depression and anxiety. I’ve been diagnose with Major Depressive Disorder (MDD) and General Anxiety Disorder (GAD) and have had significant ups-and-downs in my 41 years of life. Like a lot of people, I didn’t realize I had an issue because waking up in darkness and heaviness was my norm (since as far back as I can remember)
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Yes, you read the title correct and no I’m not talking about being gay. I love all my friends that are gay, but the assumption that men loving men, is automatically associated with being gay, is the very point of this article.
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I grew up in the church since my earliest memory and I love the church. I appreciate the desire for wholeness, the focus on getting unhealthy patterns and mindset under control and living a life of service to God and others. Yet, there is one aspect that I see as a major set-back when it comes to dealing with mental health. Too often, it’s over-spiritualized (it’s a real word, I checked), leaving people with a stronger sense of guilt, self-doubt and isolation.
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Loneliness is at unprecedented highs. We have more digital connection, more friends than ever, yet there’s an empty sense of isolation and homelessness. A deep gut-wrenching feeling that there is no one to share your thoughts, deepest fears and joys with. No one to affirm, to listen and to genuinely care that you’re alive. A gnawing revelation that you have no sense of belonging, anywhere, with anyone.
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There is a strange phenomenon occurring among Christians. Although the election is over, it seems like it’s been turned into a “spiritual war,” as if Christians know, with 100% certainty, that God’s will is for Trump to remain in the oval office. Countless conspires are flying around the evangelical social media world and the democratic party has been deemed as “pure evil.” Christians have blurred the lines and made politics into a religious battle. In the midst of this righteous war, a sly and subtle idolatry has risen.
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Make Pastors Honest Again.
Pastor's shouldn't be dishonest. Yeah I said it. A dishonest person succumbs to undue pressures from a system build in Jesus' name but is far from His heart. A system that exalts keeping the cup clean on the outside, all the while the inside is full of the same crap as the rest of us. This system has does a grave disservice to the humanity of scripture and the great men of faith (Hebrews 11), who were drunkards, adulterers, liers, murderers and questioning their faith YET had a soft and humble heart before God.
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I’m sure you’ve heard the typical advice when it comes to public speaking — if you’re nervous you’re suppose to look at everyone as if they’re in their underwear. Does it really work? Well, I wouldn’t know because talking to large and small crowds is something I enjoy, so I’m not the best litmus test. Regardless, the psychology behind that tactic is to put you at ease, right? It’s intended to calm down your nerves, to put everyone on the same level and provide you with a moment where you can stop thinking about saying everything perfect and simply allow it to flow from your interior life.
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It’s very tempting to remain neutral and sometimes neutrality is the best way to listen, learn and grow together as a species. It can be a safe territory to gain perspective, lay down differences and grow in unification.
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I think many of the most popular lessons we teach our children are lessons that we ourselves need to learn. As adults, we’ve simply learned techniques and mechanisms to cover over many of the raw emotions are acting out over. And good thing. We wouldn’t want an entire adult population to act like 4-yr olds. That would be a catastrophe.
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If you’ve been alive in the last 10-15 years, the gospel of positivity has knocked at your door, especially if you’re living in the 1st-world. People have made crazy money at promoting a message of optimism and positive thinking and virtually turned it into another religion, which the world has way too many already.
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But somehow we have a strong magnetic pull to always stay safe. Now, I’m not talking about common sense or being thoughtful while making huge, life-decisions. What I am saying is that it’s human tendency to get stuck in a rut because we like predictability. We like to know where we’re going everyday, how we’re getting there and who we’re going to interact.
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I love airports delays. Now, I know I’m crazy for loving to sit on the floor anxiously waiting for the speaker above my head to call my flight number, but everything about this crazy wait causes a breakdown in our overly stressed-out, hyper productive society. I love watching how people respond when the gods of the airport disrupt their jam-packed day. There’s nothing they can do; they can’t solve their problem by jumping on their cell, sending an email or raising their impatient voice. The greatest fear of American society hits the entire population of terminal A – boredom. No TV, Internet, friend to pass time away with— no one but their self, their conscience, their soul. They’re trapped with nowhere to turn but inward.
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