Spiritual Abuse
Spiritual abuse may be more rampant than you think. It’s a type of abuse that happens subtly and under the image of God, making it very difficult to catch at first glance. Aside from that, usually the people being spiritual manipulated, are under the influence of a dynamic leader that has built a toxic environment (groupthink), so much that if someone begins to catch on to the abuse, they will attack themselves - thinking they are the one who is crazy. It’s much more difficult to identify than the other abuses, such as sexual, physical or verbal abuse, because it’s not so overt in orientation or manifestation.
To do it justice, here is the National Domestic Violence Hotline’s definition of spiritual abuse: “…most examples of spiritual abuse refer to a church elder or faith leader inflicting abuse on congregation members, often by creating a toxic culture within the church or group by shaming or controlling members using the power of their position.”***
I’m just now at the place in my life where I can look back at very early years of life, being raised in the Pentecostal church, and recognize many instances where spiritual abuse was apart of my understanding of God. Yet, it wasn’t exclusive to my childhood. I’ve experienced in various parachurch organizations, conventional churches and radicalized churches. I think I was so familiar with the abuse, that I couldn’t separate it as just that - abuse. For me, the results of the abuse were a tremendous amount of shame, always second-guessing myself, and constant guilt that I am not enough, especially when I would “sin.”
Now, I can see that all of that is bullshit. I can now identify certain moments, church groups and instances in both my childhood and adult life where spiritual abuse was dominant. Frankly, it destroyed my inner life, it psychologically damaged my idea of who God was and worst of all, it made me always - and I mean, always - feel like shit. But, of course, they would say, you should feel that because in God’s eyes, we are shit.
I’ll just let that sit for a minute. (Selah)
Spiritual abuse is perverse, a form of evil and at the very least, it blasphemes the name of God. It exchanges a loving, unconditional, graceful God for a demented, angry and retributive being. One that if you don’t get your dogma or doctrines correct, will condemn you, both on this earth and in the life to come. To me, that is the greatest damage and it is pure blasphemy. How dare someone misrepresent the One Being in all creation that is fully accessible to everyone, for comfort, peace and hope be replaced with a bastard god?
Ok. I’m angry. Yep. I am.
And I should be. I’m angry because people lives are being destroyed. I’m angry because the love of my life is being misrepresented. I’m angry because this prominent abuse is keeping desperate people far from the One they are seeking.
Spiritual abuse needs to be called out. I needs to be addressed and dragged out of the shadows of shame and into the light. Just like the “me too” movement, I think there are countless lives who have been the subject of spiritual abuse are hiding in the shadows, because they don’t want to “hurt the people who have given them so much” to be effected. Yet, if I may point out, that type of thinking is what abuse produces. You become dedicated to a person, or a select group of leaders and so you blame yourself and put up with the abuse, thinking it’s just you.
It’s time to speak up, speak out and redeem the image and name of God. You are not alone. You are not crazy. You’ve encountered spiritual abuse.
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